A few days ago I was sitting in a classroom minding my own business when a bottle of water began entertaining me. It lured me in with its dreamy vista of tall, proud evergreens lining both sides of an icy-blue river. Upon closer inspection I discovered these words: “BORN FROM TRADITION: Proud to bring you pure quality natural spring water – a tradition started over 160 years ago. BORN BETTER”
Who knew? I felt ashamed I’d been unaware of this amazing water’s origins. Now, before I begin with a few questions please bear-in-mind, I didn’t get knuckle-deep into any websites. I wanted to contemplate these beautiful words and their intrinsic meaning at face value.
First, what tradition would ‘They’ like me to recognize? Our melting pot of a world is steeped in traditions- like the annual Cheese Rolling at Cooper’s Hill, England where a round, nine-pound Gloucester cheese is tossed down a steep hill and competitors try catching it. According to the pretty label, ‘Their’ tradition began over 160 years ago. Were ‘They’ bottling water and keeping it a secret all this time?
Why are ‘They’ so proud to bring me quality water? Wouldn’t-not causing waterborne diseases be the goal of any water company? But, “Born Better” is the phrase I had the most difficulty with. ‘Born Better’ than what or whom exactly? Should I be insulted? Are ‘They’ claiming to be better than me or other less lovely rivers? Are ‘Their’ rivers better than say the mighty Colorado-the river that forged the Grand Canyon. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this or any other fascinating label you’ve come across.
Oh yes, and my biggest question of all: NESTLE-one of my very favorite candy makers (truth be told, I love all candy makers) has taken the time out to bottle water. Is there a chocolate river somewhere I don’t know about?