muse vanishing

my muse has disappeared
again
I never told him how his prose
embedded beneath my fingernails
how his thoughts, even the blackest
pushed my tepid, grey ideas into carnal color
I was afraid and
he frightened so easily
but he flew
packed up his brilliant mind, crushed heart
and winged away
like a confused spirit
dancing on both sides of a diaphanous divide

I was going to memorize his words
capture them in print, like zoo animals
before he left the enclosures unlocked
but I need to forget now
or my mind will stagnate
I can’t explain why his words
affect me as they do
as they did
though I can’t recite lucid specifics
their memories will forever haunt
like a specter carnivore chewing one’s soul

In my lifetime, I’ve been undone by many things
but never words
never words
until his
and I’m undone
hoping, praying, dreaming
his crushed heart will reform
and his words will return
so I can capture my muse
yet, again…
lionesslioness in Prisma pencil – can’t remember reference images to give credit – this was done many years ago

 

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