This post was originally published in March 2014. It’s one of my favorites. The big son is now 14, just hit 6′ and is still growing…
The conversation that day…
The big son just got home from Middle School. We usually talk about how the day went. He’s a thirteen-year-old, good natured kid. He does well in school and to the best of my knowledge has never been in trouble, except for one Pre-k incident, when Miss L told him to sit at his desk because he was giggling, then he cried the rest of the day. The big son is currently taking an accelerated Living Environment class. His class recently entered deep into the mysteries of the reproductive chapter.
The big son asks in quite a frustrated tone, “Mom, why did I have to color a vagina?”
Me, “What colors did you have to color the vagina?” I’m trying not too laugh because he’s really quite annoyed.
Big Son, “Does it matter?”
Me, “That depends.” I’m stifling giggles as we continue conversing.
Big Son, “We had to color the vagina-red, the uterus-orange, the fallopian tubes; also know as the oviduct-yellow, the ovaries-blue-” Big son flashes his colored vagina pictures.
Me, “Wow, I don’t even remember all those parts,” I look down at my pelvis, “geez, I hope everything is still in there that’s supposed to be.”
“MOM!”
“Oh, c’mon I’m just kidding.” I look at the vagina picture the big son is shaking in his hand and think, wow, all the worrying I did when he was little because he couldn’t color in the lines. I’m proud of the big son’s vagina picture.
Big Son, “It’s not fair Mom, the penis picture is so much more embarrassing.”
Me, “Why?”
Big Son, “From the side view, the penis picture looks really bad. You don’t see anything from the vagina side view.” He shows me the penis diagram picture too – perhaps he thinks his mom doesn’t know what a penis looks like.
Me, “Well, how about the female torso, side view?”
Big Son, “What about it?”
Me, “The breasts from the side, you can see those.”
Big Son, “They’re not important.”
Me, “Why not?”
Big Son, “We didn’t even have to color them.”
Me, “Well, they might be important someday…” (this response I keep to myself)
Wurd Girl created for a long ago illustration class. Textbook is one I designed (interior and exterior) and art directed while at Prentice Hall. I did not do the cover art
I’d like to give a shout out to schools dealing with these important topics. Besides the personal conversations that parents have with their children, many schools shoulder the responsibility of informing our students with important, yet sometimes “uneasy” topics such as reproduction. Educators do this masterfully and professionally without the giggles…
Good one, I remember this post. Time changes many things. 😊
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With these last few posts about breasts and such…, I fondly remembered this one and wanted to read it again – like a school picture only in words 😉
Time flies, John!
am:)
Happy Weekend to you
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Yeah, passing far too quickly. I am 54 but feel 24 in my skull!
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I ain’t that far behind ya, my friend. As long as we can run fast enough to stay way ahead of 90 😉
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Great story 🙂
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It was quite funny at the time :0
Thank you.
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OMG…so funnnnnny. I wish I could have seen your face:)
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Well, my son was the one with the very red face, mine was pink from holding in laughter 😉
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ROFL
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That’s what I wanted to do at the time 😉
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I do well remember this post, AM, and it’s still as funny and touching as ever — and I can’t wait to meet your kids, who sound like good, well-grounded Earthlings (it’s “moontime” in the Midwest). And you know what? I remember that book — or I’ve seen it somewhere in education — very impressed, Missy. Of course, “Wurd Girl” is superb, and to think your artistic talent was in full bloom even then. Well done, Miss! Salud! 😉
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Moontime!!!!!
I love being near my desk at moontime 😉
Yea, this memory still makes me chuckle. I look at Max lately and I can’t believe how he’s growing. His shoulders are enormous – weight lifting, he’s 230 and he’s but 14 – from the giant husband, comes the big son 🙂
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been trying to finish, Girl on a Train…
halfway through…
am:)
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I had to interrupt my “moontime,” called to use the blankety-blank trimmer. With shakey right arm, I hoist another glass … because I deserve it, darnit! Hey, apropos of nothing, what T-shirt size does your hubby, son and daughter wear?
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🙂 You deserve many bottles, Miss!
Love your Gravitar!!!
She’s like Debra Harry meets Madonna meets Pink meets Susie Powder at the levy;)
eml
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I used to tell my kids, “If you want to know about sex and drugs, ask me, if you want to know about math, go ask your mother”.
I would not have wanted to be in the same room as you AnnMarie, had you exploded due to all the back pressure. That could have been messy. I won’t go beyond this matter. It was rather humorous though! :o)
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🙂 lol
There have been many other conversations. Suffice it to say I try to maintain my PG-13 rating. 😉
am:)
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All caused and backed up by a strong and graceful character :o)
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🙂 blushing now…
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:o)
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Sex lesson He has a key you have a lock if he puts his key in your lock that’s it total lesson Best wishes Ray
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Hi Ray,
I guess the problem is, what happens after the door is opened 😉
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Deborah Harry, Pink and Madonna are a-okay. Susan Powter (if that’s the one you mean), I’ve met. Funny story. ☺️
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Oh, Susan Powter, what did I say Powder? What a puff-head 🙂
I must hear your story when you visit!
am:)
PPPS (Proud Parent Prom Survivor)
and no electricity this am!
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Such an awesome Mom you are! Heartwarming and funny. Big Son must be growing into a great young man with you as a role model.
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Thank you, Leslie. I’m proud of my kiddies. They’re warmhearted and entertaining to be around 😉
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Love this post. This huge topic needs to be spoken about openly, sensitively as it is as natural as what the birds and bees are up to…and humans are all part of the bigger cycle of Nature and Life! This one made me chuckle…very well written…and very well handled on the day. Well done that mum!! Thanks A M x
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This still makes me chuckle. My poor son was quite red-faced that day. But we both got through it. Humor goes a long way.
Thank you.
am:)
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I think without humour the world would have gone under a long time ago! We need it to keep sane! : >)
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🙂 Absolutely agreed!!!
Have a terrific Monday.
am:)
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I will never be a good reproductive teacher, reading this post gives me embarrassing giggles, especially the last line.
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You know, Joel – most of us think this way. But, when the situation arises many a parent deftly handles…humor is a great leveler 😉
am:)
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I guess you’re right AnnMarie, you’ll never know ’til you’re in that situation.
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🙂
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How did I miss this one? I can only imagine your son’s horror at having to color either picture…but I don’t know whether I would have been able to contain my giggles hearing his tale of woe. I am grateful that as the grammy I only have to provide back-up for my girls’ lessons in body parts! (And with Lily turning 9 next week, I’m sure at least Part I of “the talk” is on the horizon. Happy Monday! – Fawn
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I originally wrote this last year, and remembered it this year. When I reread it, I chuckled and said, “Yup this warrants another go-round” 🙂
Smiling eases the talk pain 😉
am:)
Happy Monday as well!
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Cute story. Hope your son isn’t a writer too. Someday you may find stories of your own there. Now that I’d a scary thought! Some day he’ll remember and laugh.
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He is a writer, too. He’s penned many a short story and still enjoys…but I will have to keep an eye out 🙂 So far, moms – thankfully, don’t factor into his zombie worlds 🙂
am:)
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My daughter is also a writer. Fortunately she hasn’t started writing about me yet. In later years . . I’m not so sure. Scary!
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Considering you’re thinking about her in this way, shows how deeply you care. I’m quite certain, her writing will ultimately reflect this. Regardless of your current relationship, children have a great capacity for love and an even greater ability to forgive their parents’ transgressions. (I too, keep my fingers crossed that I don’t screw too many things up 🙂 ).
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The children of today grow much faster than you or I did my daughter is so far long I can’t keep up,color all sorts of things it boggles my mind
Thank you for your like
As always Sheldon
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Back in the day, parents wearing slippers could catch their kiddies, today keeping up with young ones requires jet packs 😉
You’re welcome, Sheldon.
annmarie:)
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Really a good one. Glad you posted it again!
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I like this one too 😉 Thank you, very much.
annmarie:)
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Oh my. Well done on the conversation. Many thanks for stopping by my blog once more.
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This conversation will always remain a great source of warm giggles for me.
Thank you.
And, you’re welcome as well.
annmarie:)
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