Why is there underwear in my face?

In keeping with this week’s theme, “Reality and Afraid,” I’m sharing another favorite post from way back.

One day at the high school…

I’ve been substitute teaching four years. During my tenure I’ve noticed, as I’m sure many of you have, that a warm-weather phenomenon has been affecting our schools. Now if you’ll humor (along with) me, I’m going to tighten my brassier straps and adjust my mom sorting hat…

As parents of Generation txt’ers, we’re exceptionally busy. We’ve produced 2.1 offspring who run us ragged. We do daily battle to arm them with the latest technology. We toil endlessly to swaddle them in brand names and expensive athletic socks. Appearance goes a long way toward their shades of happiness.

Our children’s desire for ‘peer acceptance’ can wear us out. After a long day of caring, we parents are frazzled. In fact, we’re so exhausted that some mornings we can’t even muster up the words, “Wait, you’re not really going to school naked are you?” (Of course I exaggerate, some students are partially clad and others remember to wear clothes.)

It certainly would explain, when I was sitting beside a student  (I was a one-on-one sub that day) I turned to find a pair of underwear in my face. The student with the low pants (he must not have realized they were the wrong size when he purchased them) was standing with his back to me while conversing with a fellow student.

Perhaps there could be a kindly worded, student pamphlet espousing reminders like: Dear young ladies, your breasts won’t run away if you can’t see them. Rest assured they will still be there when the school day is over. So cover your breasts while learning. Save them for later, when you’ll really need them. Dear young men, if you stop looking at the breasts long enough, perhaps you’ll realize your pants have fallen down.

In Pearls

In Pearls

Created months ago…