they are deep
embedded in the rug fibers
attached to my shoes as the chair rolls away
when my feet are bare
not on the rug
but in the soil
these thoughts
rake at my chest
all the way to my soles

you cut
deep gashes in my brain
bleeding my heart
wetting the soil
blackening my naked toes
in a thick sorrow
I won’t allow my eyes to see
or they’ll cry
and I’ll sink into the mud
that feels like cement


scorpion/bird painted long ago


25 thoughts on “soiled

  1. Well, thank you so kindly for bringing me down, Miss … 🙂 These words are thick and sticky with heaviness and sadness; however, the manner in which they move down the page is quite interesting. The verse begins vaguely and inches toward clarity, making the reader “work” for meaning (that’s good, btw). If I’m “reading” this correctly, we don’t get the pronoun reference for “they” until the 7th line –> “thoughts.” Very interesting imagery — thoughts underfoot. And then in the 10th line we begin to get hints about whom those thoughts may be directed –> the “you” who causes such pain and heartache. The imagery, the movement is quite lovely, and very smart indeed — as is that scorpion/bird painting (I love it). Again, I stand in awe. (d)


    • Sorry for the sad – but – as we all know happiness needs sadness to exist:) I’m never sure about these particular darker pieces that to me make sense, but I know they might not always make sense for the reader – and because of this – I’m never sure how they will “hit” or “sink” as they might go down. If I’m lucky enough to have a few pieces resonate – that makes me feel helpful and ironically (with this piece in mind) happy:)
      Thank you.
      Hope all is well in your writing world.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If we’re in any way sensitive, we’re bound to feel sad from time to time in this messed up world we inhabit. You generally counter that sometimes overwhelming sense of distress and depression with your joy in other things, balancing your response to the world well. But, from time to time, all of us need to allow out our sadness, or it will eat into us and destroy us from within.


  3. We all have those thoughts and they may be heart wrenching, but I think the best works of art aren’t born out of bliss, but out of pain and suffering…


  4. Took me several looks and reads….went away and came back….to comment on this one. The scorpion bird….an amazing image. It seems to me that your words here, are what someone who is fighting depression thinks in their head and this image may be how they see themselves. I am quite certain, with your family, your work, your joyful images and words, your get up and go, that this is not you….but then, we all have these descent moments. The important thing is the recognition that they are indeed “moments.” It is the person who can not see into another’s mirror to recognize the goodness in themselves, others and the world, who descends into this mud and gets encased in cement. An amazing poem. Here’s to keeping our feet moving through this world! 🙂


    • Hi Lillian,
      You are correct, my observant friend – this is mostly not me. Sometimes, I do get into certain modes (as many do) and with the words I push the feeling. I sometimes write like this when I’m up or write up when I’m down 🙂
      Thank you for your thoughtful comments as always.
      And I hope you are feeling 100%

      Liked by 1 person

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