preordained conclusions

allow me some sky
to fly over myself
all the talking eyes
usurp paths around my fantastical places
I can’t hear myself think
here on the ground
the voices are too many
broken harmonies and
attachments to preordained conclusions
cannot be whipped away
by my threadbare occupation
I was meant to fix things
I’m a fixer
not lately though
my things seem to be pulling apart
flying overhead
my body and yours
will free my blocked salvos
kind salvos
because
I’m supposed to be deliriously dependable
even when my arms are tired
from all the holding
self-indulgences, you bet
because
I’m not all that decent
Karole

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23 thoughts on “preordained conclusions

  1. Beautiful Drawing AnnMarie! I love it! I hope you had a nice Spring warm day. I got out on a long walk today ‘the ‘murder walk’ a very long walk. I got home and felt like I was in heaven after the exercise then watched wrestling and wrote another story dedicated to my Russian friend Marta Frant haven’t heard from her in a day hope I didn’t scare another one away. She told me I make her feel like a rockstar. I wrote a song called ‘Russia’ she said it should be the new Russia International Anthem but wants to keep her name in the lyrics. I am excited just a few more days until I go to The Celtics game on Sunday see them play woo AnnMarie= Number One! 2890 woo hoo’s for AnnMarie tonight!!! woo hoo!

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    • sometimes friendship may be fleeting, but kindness always stays with you – if she’s a friend in the ship sense – she’ll return – no worries
      glad you went for a walk – good to clear the head
      I’m listening to Mario Lanza sing Ave Maria right now – I can’t think of anything closer to the sky than this man’s voice and that song:)
      am:)
      oh yes, wooooo hooooooo

      Like

      • Thanks AnnMarie I am just glad she liked my songs and they made her feel special. In the end it doesn’t matter all I need is my one friend AnnMarie to always be happy. Yea exercise does wonders for you mentally. Glad you are enjoying the song. The closest thing to me being in heaven is being AnnMarie’s friend. Woo hoo!

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  2. To a Presbyterian, “preordination” is a loaded word. πŸ™‚
    Structurally/writerly those last 3 lines work and in their negativity actually make the persona human, vulnerable, accessible; personally, I don’t agree with their import. πŸ˜‰ Still, this is the kind of poetry I’m talking about, the new, different shore you seem to be rowing toward. I like it.
    The art makes the case for more.
    DS

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi DS
      thank you, I think;)
      you’re too funny
      I do so appreciate your insights always
      I’m not going to say I understand what direction I’m going but as long as I’m going that can’t be too bad πŸ™‚
      row, row, row that damn dinghy
      it might be time for a cabin cruiser;)
      am:)

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  3. What a lovely figure painting/ drawing…you are so so talented! Your words…say so much….I’m a fixer but lately things have been falling apart, I can SO connect with this. I know you have been busy accommodating parents…I seem to remember??? and lots of changes happening. Take care of yourself and give yourself some TLC. Mario Lanza sounds just perfect! ❀😊

    Like

  4. Stunning drawing! Lately, I’ve been stopped in my tracks scrolling through the reader when I see your drawing. I open the reader and scroll past the words to see the caption/explanation on the drawing. None here? She is stunning with her off the shoulder wrap — whichi is just the rigth hue to set off her beauty. The tinting on the cheek bones….the slight color in the hair that then blends into the background – beautiful!
    And then I go back and read your words and always always enjoy them so. I think this must be the reverse of the “normal” read? At least it is for me. And I only do this when you have these stunningly real mesmorizing drawings.
    “I’m supposed to be deliriously dependable” — these were the words that I connect with here the most. I remember, one fall when I was taking care of both my parents and my daughter had recently returned from a year of high school exchange in Germany and we had her German mother and sister living with us — my dad was in hospital, my mom was mentally not well — and I was trying to “hold it all together.” This phrase — my guess is that taken out of this poem — this is the feeling of the daughter/daughter-in-law/mother of teenagers who is being Super Everything. For me, lines “pop out of my writing” that make me look at them and go “oh yeah….I see where that one comes from.” Anyway — amazing writing here – amazing drawing here. Happy weekend, my friend. Hoping you get time for a quiet glass of wine with the hubby! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lillian,
      Stepping away from tech really goes a long way recharging the human battery. I’m coming down off a lovely weekend. Caroline’s b’day went well – there was much laughter and feasting:) Lots of family things this weekend and more self-pub research. The self-pub is very confusing – the more I read – the more confused I get. I’ll eventually figure it out once I make a decision:)
      I must thank you for this essay here;) you are too generous and kind. I do so appreciate your thoughts. And on all points above you are correct. Having shared similar experiences – family is wonderful but can also be a bit draining at times.
      Speaking of family – the portrait here is my mother-in-law during her modeling years. She has many amazing b/w studio shots from her modeling days – I used a gorgeous old shot as a reference photo to do this portrait. I used to explain each piece of my art but have sort of moved away from explaining.
      I hope you had a lovely weekend as well. And thank you, again and over for these amazing words.
      am:)

      Liked by 1 person

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