When a snake is born with two heads, the heads try eating each other. This makes perfect sense. And it doesn’t for the obvious reasons. She wonders long and hard about her snakes. She muses over the tangled loiterers in her gut. Those reptilian personas, wanderers all, who tear at her. Maybe given the chance they’ll swallow each other and pass without issue. The battles in her mind she grows weary of. Good and well as she appears on the outside, she is not.

She wants to go back. Return to the way it was, to the way it had been before things got mucked up. There is no vacuum to suck up thoughts thick as peanut butter. She wishes Einstein manifested on the other side of her lunch plate. He might solve her dilemma, ease her burdens. The frolicky photo, poster-sized on her wall–Al’s brilliance with flicking tongue and shock-white upending hair allows her to entertain the possibility of solutions. All but love. Einstein labored there too, not so much peanut butter as grape jelly–he craved sweet outside of his mad naked brain. What was Einstein like in bed?

Melancholy sticks in her throat. Why does it always have to reach a point that forces change? Hedges a path against one’s spinning wheels. She wants the dreaming. And yes, the other carefully cultivated fantasy sequences. He is a specter now like all the others she once loved but couldn’t get back. Return them to her gut, let them gnaw a hole for her thirsting heart to collapse out of.

Was Sir Francis Bacon behind Shakespeare? Maybe. Maybe Shakespeare had more than one head, many opposing forces sword thrusting in his belly. There is no easy way around staring in a mirror with many eyes and seeing one face. She knows all too well the things sliding around her heart. If she had never known him, her snakes might have remained settled for a time. Mice take a long time to digest. But the two-headed snake is roaming. It cannot survive this way.

“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” –Oscar Wilde



snake/mouse art created last year for an illustrated project-thank you


11 thoughts on “specter

  1. Beautiful work AnnMarie! Stressful week bad for my health I lost some online friends 3 but i only knew them 5 months or less. It was dissapointing I did nothing wrong. Friends will come and go. Julia the wrestling lady moved on from me for no reason to do with me. It was a good connection but I got Julie now the horror lady I connect with and text with. I also made a new friend with Jessica, she’s a little eccentric but she and i both love horror. I’ll focus on my horror friends in horror group. I am up to 66 pgs done with the horror book. I am at The Final Act. I am proud of myself it pays homages to so many great horror movies and I fit the most friends ever in that book developing all the characters. It’s not easy to do but I was out for the challenge. It might be my best horror yet. I just keep building and building it. I like it since it will be memorable with so many friends in there. How was your weekend? AnnMarie=Number One!


    • so sorry you’re not feeling well
      people will come and go in your life – it is what defines life – the beginnings and endings – the stuff in the middle are the treasures we collect while we’re passing through
      hang in there my friend, keep writing and stay positive – you are a positive role model

      Liked by 1 person

      • Feeling better today AnnMarie. Watching a lot of awesome new horror movies I collected from a dvd store going out of business They were all only 40 cents a piece The Hitcher and Phantasm were awesome. Yea I like what you say about treasures inbetween girls like Ashley Lynn and Marta Manning who moved on I go back and have great memories of the friendship. Make me smile. Yea I am real excited about this horror book only 30 more pages to go. Woo hoo. It’s been really great. I have enjoyed writing it. Your are the greatest friend ever AnnMarie! woo hoo! Always uplift me. AnnMarie=Number One!


    • lol John,
      you’re too kind, I don’t know if it is as much deep thinking as it is just throwing stuff outta my head and hoping something lands – sometimes I’m not even sure what it means;)
      here’s to tuesday
      hope all is going well for you


  2. I’m just going to say that (despite the snakes: you know how I feel about them) I like this A LOT. “Vacuum” and “peanut butter” –> amazing.
    I like Wilde’s quote, too. Hence I popped open the new bottle of merlot (just kidding).


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