my silly secret

like a blazing stogie dangling from determined lips
all other luminous pricks lured away by post-holiday sales
my eyes navigate the smudged thermal pane
a lone gleaming star outside the milky glass
I must get closer
I’ve got no answers for anyone this year
and more questions for myself with less time to respond
the kitchen slider is an obstinate fucking portal
I remember falling on scabby knees
praying beneath the Northern Star
for wisdom and ‘wiseness’
crying for everything I couldn’t find
and God knows I still look for
the star
storybook glitter brilliant enough to sustain my disbelief another year
pulling at the door handle, dropping f-bombs with each yank to the right
gotta fix the damn slider in 2017
I must get closer
to this sparkling beacon of Christmas birth and glowing yuletide renewal
this year, this year it’s more important than ever
shit, you know I declared the same thing last year
shivering in the dark, I’m standing on my splintered deck
finally nearer to the star
I whisper to her pointing ears, ‘guide us somewhere safe’
we must believe in something more than ourselves
or we will implode upon our self righteousness
I’d pat myself on the back too, if I didn’t hurt my shoulder opening the fucking slider
the pulsing star
limitless hymns composed for her singular brilliance
orbiting existential principles
liquid onyx landscapes and oceanic skies
I lift my watery eyes
my lips smiling with their silly secret
this isn’t the prominent Christmas Star shining brightly 19 degrees above the horizon
it is Venus
she’s the one who lured me to heavenly hopes all those years ago
when I was a child and didn’t know which way was North

wood nymph

 

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7 thoughts on “my silly secret

    • nothing at all!
      though she is naturally bright and cheery like me😉as a wee student of Catholic teachings (many moons ag0) such inter-planetary consorting was deeply frowned upon-I do remember feeling foolish and cheated when I learned I’d been praying in the wrong direction😉but you know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Venus and she can keep a good secret-we’ve developed a special kinship-I tell her what she wants to hear and she tells me what I don’t want to know😊

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is so good on so many levels. Sometime I’ll “explicate” it for you, lol. But truly, it ’tis so good, AM. You must keep creating, always. I’m totally serious here. I really am. And I like this direction you’re taking …. DS

    Liked by 1 person

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