an existence once cut short

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black and white printed while she was whole
her image remains with me
    pressed between one of those silly plastic stand-alone frames

back then the instructor’s reasoning was sound
    though not reason enough for me to listen
my mind had been cocky in odd places
    while other rooms stood vacant
    dubious of direction and all things covered in sugar

my first clay ‘masterpiece’
    masterful in her crying face, her sense of doom
the glorious hand I’d made with my own unblemished one
the dense clay hand gripping the thick clay cloth
    a modesty I’d fashioned to cover her exposed breast

the thoughtless secondary hours of building her up
    only to have her existence cut short
    for my not listening
the heaving ‘masterpiece’ ruined beyond repair
dense lumps into the bin, hauled away
the evidence of her brief existence
    trails me from place to place

years onward caught in a morning like any other
the childhood sun moving across her face, her hand, her prison
I stood beside the studio window
    silent and breathing
    listening at my dead ‘masterpiece’
    still trapped in that silly stand-alone plastic frame

I’d never done that before
    the listening

I never before offered to that little girl
    hiding in those vacant rooms
    a map to redirect her eyes
    the permission to deafen her heart
    from hearing only my mistakes



image above captured this morning in my studio
– taken as she stands in all her high school ‘confuddlement’

7 thoughts on “an existence once cut short”

  2. Good news AnnMarie I’m about to finish my comeback novel murder mystery I still have my ups and downs but have gaming and writing along with hot baths and watching larry bird games has helped a great deal i still i have my up and downs but i survive i bought a bunch of soccer and hocket games in big lots for cheap averaging out to 2 bucks or less. im just building a collection with variety. how was your christmas and new years? i got sick on christmas ihop gave me gluten in my food and being celiac i threw up most of the day but i got 8 packages of christmas from cristy she got me a lot of great stuff. were you a sixers fan or celtics fan or indifferent i just watched old dr j take a far away shot to win at buzzer but they lost to them 5 out of the 6 times they faced the celtics my new years was great played cards with my sister had thai food, how is the art and writing coming along? you are liker the golden goose whatever you write and draw turns to gold. if anyone says your work isnt stellar they are blinded by jealousy or stupidity keep in touch

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    • so glad to read you’re doping so well ,Dan. But sorry to read you were unwell over the holidays. My holidays were lovely – always are when the family gathers – they are my gift. Glad you spent time with your sister:)
      To answer your sports question – I’m Yankees & Giants. NO other teams really or sports for me – especially basketball – my husband is a fan of the Nicks – I can’t watch basketball – the squeaky sneakers would drive me to madness:)
      And as always, I appreciate your kind words regarding my work – I’ve enjoyed my dive into clay and now this year I will do my best to doggie-paddle my way through some new work – always learning –
      be well, Dan, my friend, be well and keep creating

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  3. Ah.
    Let me say: The tripartite images are so artistically pleasing, and of course I recognize that gorgeous woman (have a pic of her as well), and I’m glad you’ve honored her “journey” here; what a wonderful sculpt back then (still visible via photography—thank God for cameras!).
    And this: So nice to see your words again. A perfect ekphrastic for sure. And though I don’t usually comment re: the “look” of your words on the page, I really do like their placement here, the blockiness, with white space to shape them.

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    • Thank you, DS
      it does feel great to get some words out of the head as sometimes too many thoughts clog the clay building. I appreciate and value your interpretation of this latest piece – I felt the thought leaps needed some time travel space.

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