Interview With Miss A (Vampire)

Another school year is coming to a close. Another year of substitute teaching done and over. Before the year completely ends, I’d like to share an old post written last year when some fifth grade boys were concerned that their substitute teacher was a vampire…

Interview With Miss A (Vampire)

Having blood-sucking on the brain (and not because of the Twilight saga–though I’ll admit I enjoyed), I searched my studio folders for Him. I scoured my old Prentice Hall, graphic files. When I was a newbie Mac user learning Adobe Illustrator, I drew everything using old-fashioned, hand/eye coordination with a mouse and a prayer.

That year I’d also read, Interview With The Vampire by the immortal’s mortal, Anne Rice. Her words were composed of cold flesh. Blood flowed between the rivers of white on her pages. I hated Ms. Rice. I was in awe of Ms. Rice. This ‘Interview’ creeped me out like no other book… Everywhere I traveled, Lestat stalked me with his mesmerizing lost eyes, black sinewy veins and pale moon skin.

He was one of my first ventures into computer portraiture. I had no choice but to create Him. He wouldn’t leave my mind. He was a tormenting fellow. He’d bite me nightly and I suffer daily for it. He was the awesome Vampire Lestat. Once I created Him, He no longer haunted my dreams.
LestatI was recently subbing in a fifth grade class. At lunchtime, I noticed a handful of lads with perplexed expressions staring at me. I approached the group to make sure everything was okay. One boy–the ring leader–studied me a moment before asking, “Miss A, are you a vampire?”
Before I could respond he continued, “Why do you have such sharp black eyebrows, long black hair and pointy teeth?” (for the record, my incisors are a tad sharp-looking).

I jokingly responded, “YES!” But, then quickly clarified, “Just kidding, boys,” when they started wrapping napkins around their jugulars. The last thing I needed was for a child to go home and say, “my sub was a vampire,” even if it was kinda funny.

Later, I contemplated what the fifth grader had asked me. I thought about the boys’ nervous little expressions–and I honestly wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or insulted.
Uncle Vamuncle vam – prisma blood-sucked to life a few months back, previously published

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22 thoughts on “Interview With Miss A (Vampire)

  1. Awesome story and Awesome drawing! It wouldn’t matter to me AnnMarie if you were a vampire I would love you even more. Vampires rule! Still sick today was going to try going on a walk today but I have to stay in case the painter guy working on my house needs help. Boo but its best I get the rest. Hate these long lasting viruses. I’ll feel better when it passes and I can write my 600th story at least I got something to look forward to. I will probably miss work again wed I’ll have to hit up the dr again tues boo. Pretty bad when you want to lay in bed all day during the beautiful summer days but health comes first.

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      • Your welcome. Don’t let what the boys say bother you. If I was them I would say to myself wow what a super beautiful nice lady we have for a sub today. Keep in mind boys at that age have very imaginative minds. I did a lot of writing today to deal with the stress at home but I think you are right resting as much as possible is the best way to go. I got a doctors appt tom at 330 so hopefully they give me meds to help. Hopefully I don’t have pneumonia again that would be five months of misery awaiting me. But I don’t think I have it. I hope the dr can give me some meds. Until then horror movie time.

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      • Your welcome. Thank you. You keep the good work with your drawings and writings. I am watching ‘A Nightmare On Elm Street’ right now followed by ‘Black Christmas’. Be sure you read my most recent short story ‘A DawnieMare On Elm Street’ I think that one will give you a laugh.

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  2. You should have worn white make up and blood red lipstick that just missed the edge your bottom lip a bit. Shades, because the light hurt your sensitive Vampire eyes. You could have asked them for their blood types and ordered them to write short stories about the night, bats, blood and fangs. You could have kept a plastic bottle of red Kool-Aid on your desk and moved your desk out of the sun:) Well, I could go on but it’s just so funny and silly. I hope you at least stared at their necks during class:) LOLOL Or put pictures of Vampires on the board on the days you were there. It’s always good to keep 5th grade boys a little nervous.

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  3. Another example of kids saying the darndest things, eh? 🙂 Well, you should have swooped down and pretended to bite them! (See, I wouldn’t make a very good parent, would I? LOL) You know, I never read Anne Rice, but always thought maybe I should have (would you recommend?). I love the art — I have no clue how you’re doing that on computer, but it’s amazing, reminds me of a more stylish, sophisticated woodcutting (I love woodcuttings). I’m glad you exorcised your vampire obsession! Seems like you’re able to do that by making art — now, if I could do that with my snake obsession, 😉 Very nice, AM.

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    • You are quite right Deb, we don’t want to bite the children 😉
      I ran into this same group of boys the following year and they wanted to see if my teeth were still sharp –
      Anne Rice frightened me so much – I don’t know why this book got to me the way it did – I really had the creeps for awhile – yes, I’d recommend.
      This illustration goes back to the early ’90s. I used the mouse and my eyeballs and just drew – it really required extra focus because the hand was in a different place – odd feeling – also dealing with the whole Adobe learning curve – lots of toys in that package…

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      • Why can’t we bite children? 😉 I might have to check out A. Rice, just as I think I’ll be watching Kolchak (sp.?) tonight. If I get nightmares …. 🙂 I had a student who could really “draw” on the computer; it was amazing what all she could do, but I never understood exactly HOW she did it. The moon is coming out, moonshine, 🙂

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  4. Great art work — the shading really gives it depth! Done on a computer? You always amaze me.
    Now, having subbed in days way gone by….but at the junior high level…..which takes a real need for money and a lot of guts, or else stupidity….I think it a very good thing these 5th grade boys were a bit leery. Keeping the mystery alive would keep them on their toes….and perhaps just one raised eyebrow would do the disciplinary trick of quieting down the class room. 🙂 Hmmmmm that might be a good tactic for all substitute teachers!

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    • Thank you, Lillian. When we fist got our Macs at Prentice Hall back in the ’90’s we got to play around a bit with Adobe – it was a challenge working a color palette – without knowing all the real particulars of the program – I learned just enough to fake it – this image could have never printed at a genuine repro place – the file wasn’t set up correctly.
      Yes, I think a slightly intimidating approach is sometimes called for – not sure what’s going on lately with behavior or lack there of…
      You are a fellow sub – you understand 🙂

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