It is with a heavy heart that I update this post.

Holding My Friend to a Promise (originally posted 12/9/24)

For over thirty years my friend Robert Milby has been reading his poetry throughout the Hudson Valley, NYC, Long Island, NJ, PA, and New England. An engaging speaker, Robert has made 1,500 public appearances and has done hundreds of readings, open mics, lectures, presentations, participated in radio commentary and festivals, and has been spotlighted on independent tv shows. Robert has shared his enthusiasm and poetic talents through reading and writing workshops in schools and culture centers and has been a guest poet at higher educational institutions. 

Robert’s numerous works have been included in magazines and anthologies. Add to his stellar resume and his four poetry books, his chapbook, Gothic, Orange was published through the County Historian’s office in 2018. He has been a Kirkus Reviewer, a “Best Poet” winner and a longtime Woodstock Poetry Society member. In 2017, Robert was honored with the title, Poet Laureate of Orange County, NY. His relentless devotion to poetry has never ceased. Until now.

Robert is battling stage IV pancreatic cancer. As a freelance writer, he has been unable to work for the past nine months. I understand this is a difficult time of year to ask for donations, but any amount you’re able to make will help Robert pay for his mounting medical expenses. (Go Fund Me link)

I would have given up reading my work in public, if not for Robert. His dedication and encouragement inspired me to share my own work beyond the written page. A deep-reader and researcher, Robert promised me that he’d share his voluminous knowledge of UFOs over coffee one day. I am holding him to that promise.

Thank you in advance for your generosity. (Go Fund Me link)

A Conversation with Mom (Post Stroke) Through a Closed Nursing Home Window During Covid




Mom — we don’t need phones, you can hear me through the window just fine.
 
She picks up the phone on her rolling table and holds it upside down to her ear.  
Dad is gambling on my shoulder.
   
Mom — Dad is not on your shoulder. Look, I’m not using a phone and you can hear me just fine.

My teeth are falling out. This phone isn’t working.

Mom — your teeth are not falling out.
 She continues talking into an upside down landline.
Mom — please put the phone down. 
The receiver twists in her hand.I release an invisible string, a white balloon floats away.
Mom — stop knocking the phone on the table.
Mom — please look at me here standing outside your window.


She built a family with her bones.
 Another balloon floats away.
Mom — would you put the phone down please. I knuckle the glass. 

Mom — for the love of God please put the fucking phone down.


Butterflies flying overhead, so many more this spring. The year of my daughter’s mermaid birthday party I didn’t stare skyward looking for wings that weren’t there. I smiled in my cleverness at having covered our dining room walls with iridescent paper and hanging foil starfish from the ceiling with aqua crepe paper. The room became a magical ocean.

Mom — please stop hitting the phone on the table. 
A wheelchair is talking to Mom’s ass and if she leans too far forward, her tongue might fall out.
Mom — hang up the phone.
Mom — Mom 

I’ll see you tomorrow.
I hang up my pretend phone.



Sometimes, there is nothing more to add than the conversation.
Here’s to Fridays fringed with warm wine, good and red.

am

I Miss Her Too Much—Still

I don’t often show post-stroke images of my beautiful mom. I share the image (below) to share Millie’s joy.

Through three years of relentless pain, Millie smiled and expressed joy. Knowing her was a gift, and her lessons of love🌹 remain with me.

As her Halloween Birthday🎃 arrives, I will smile impossibly wide to pay Millie’s gift forward in a world that needs a hell of a lot more love❤️🌎

I wish you all a fun, fabulous, creative, smiling, and safe👻Happy Halloween!
am:)

(image below taken many harvest moons ago when Millie and Billy were cruisin’ around in their convertible Mustang GT, and my kiddies were not yet costing us college money😁)

Millie’s Rainbow

This post was inspired by a ‘new’ image.

It’s a wonderful gift to receive an image you’ve never seen before of a person you’ll not see again (in this version of life). My mom’s cousin had recently sent me a batch of family photos, a few of the images I’d not seen before – what a treasure to see my mom’s pearlescent smile in a ‘new’ way. I merged Millie’s image into the rainbow photo shown.

The rainbow happened on a most horrible day — a day not blackened by the dark weather but by my words. It was the day I told my sweet mother I was sending her to a nursing home. And that beautiful woman had the gall to smile, to tell me she understood and that everything would be okay.

The weight of my heart forced my tears forward like the storm. Then not long afterward, the rain stopped, the storm clouds moved on their way, and there outside, arcing over my house, was the most complete and perfect rainbow I’d ever seen. It was Millie’s Rainbow.

Thank you,
AnnMarie❤️

But Not Dolores

Dolores

Stepping Forward

stepping forward

New CNF in “Hippocampus Magazine”!

Honored and thrilled to have my creative nonfiction piece, “Inside My Mother’s Mouth,” published in the elegant and smart, Hippocampus Magazine.
Always honored to share a glimpse into my beautiful mother’s world. I dearly miss the person she was for all those amazing decades.

Click the image (or highlighted text) to read onward. Visit, Hippocampus, and take in all the fantastic stories there…
This piece was written before the Covid-19 axe cut deep. It seems so long ago now that I visited Millie daily and helped her with the morning routine.
I hope you’re all continuing to manage during these difficult days. Stay safe.❤️
Thank you for stopping by.

3 Pandemic Poems to Share

I’m honored to have 3 Pandemic Poems shared in, CARE Covid — Art REsource, a timely and thoughtful journal.
Click on text to visit this beautiful journal.

Click on image below to do directly to poems.
I hope you’re all doing okay.❤️
My mother (in her twenties) and her magnificent smile! And despite suffering a major stroke two years ago, she still manages to show-off her gorgeous teeth!

Sharing a Lovely Memory

We Could Use Some Good News Too

Hope you are all managing each day. ❤️
My daughter found this site.
I wanted to share the link for those who might not know this information already.
Some positive news…
(Just tap on highlighted text or image)
Gratitude, prayers, and humble thanks to all those out there in the world, going to work, keeping the world moving, helping the sick and all in need…much love, stay safe🙏❤️