I needed to see the stars this morning desperate to dream with my eyes open. The moon too, as I was being quite demanding. But neither moon or stars presented themselves to me. The sky was trampled beneath a mosh pit of cloud crap. I stood there disappointed and aggravated over these sky-high brighteners failing to lift me in my time of neediness. I grew pissed in fact, at the audacity of mother earth to disappoint one of her own good-natured tenants. I’m the guy trying to keep happy up, up, up, and I’m looking up, up, up at a shitty sky. Fuck, I don’t deserve this. I’m so wonderful and should have stars whenever I need them.
While sulking for a well-deserved miracle, my brilliant Dachshund speaks to me in the dark morning cold. No not really. Someone was talking though. She was saying how I don’t appreciate the stars enough to see them. The stars and moon are ever-present. They haven’t been vanquished, my vision has. My ability to see beauty on the floor when its trampled beneath a mosh pit of crap. I should close my eyes and see whatever it is I need to lift my spirits. No one, hell not even a brilliant Dachshund, can do this for me. Good as I force my heart to be, I am not that good. There are selfish thoughts brewing and I blow them out like candles on a cake I covet.
I stand in awkward silence, having just been berated by an old-school friend. I allow her voice clarity and give into the honesty of this truth. I don’t appreciate all that is. There is a gorgeousness about this place, past the mosh pit of crap. No one can take the stars or moon from my eyes. Or yours. I adore nasty Dachshund breath, even though I loathe it. Mojo is warm and sweet. We are all blessed with the brilliant night sky, regardless of what transpires daily below it. There is up and we need to focus our vision there.
Now I am happy. It is time to take my son to school. He is a driver-in-training so he’s behind the wheel. We are cruising by a student who’s walking to school. A football falls from his backpack but goes unnoticed by him. In my pleasant beautiful calm, I roll down the passenger window and call out to the boy. While doing this my anxious arm swings out, pointing to the football behind him. Here, my eyeglasses go flying out the window. My son pulls the car over at the first opportunity. I leap out and sprint to find my glasses flattened. Damn
And I thought my vision was cured after my morning epiphany. Sometimes what can you do, but suck it up, cry or chuckle.
I wrote this at 6 am but decided to post in the pm. I didn’t listen or watch live inauguration coverage. I read President Trump’s speech just awhile ago online. Next to last paragraph of his speech had an uncanny ring. Hmm, I wonder what it all means…😉
“And whether a child is born in the urban sprawl of Detroit or the windswept plains of Nebraska, they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams and they are infused with the breath of life by the same Almighty Creator.”
like a blazing stogie dangling from determined lips
all other luminous pricks lured away by post-holiday sales
my eyes navigate the smudged thermal pane
a lone gleaming star outside the milky glass
I must get closer
I’ve got no answers for anyone this year
and more questions for myself with less time to respond
the kitchen slider is an obstinate fucking portal
I remember falling on scabby knees
praying beneath the Northern Star
for wisdom and ‘wiseness’
crying for everything I couldn’t find
and God knows I still look for
storybook glitter brilliant enough to sustain my disbelief another year
pulling at the door handle, dropping f-bombs with each yank to the right
gotta fix the damn slider in 2017
I must get closer
to this sparkling beacon of Christmas birth and glowing yuletide renewal
this year, this year it’s more important than ever
shit, you know I declared the same thing last year
shivering in the dark, I’m standing on my splintered deck
finally nearer to the star
I whisper to her pointing ears, ‘guide us somewhere safe’
we must believe in something more than ourselves
or we will implode upon our self righteousness
I’d pat myself on the back too, if I didn’t hurt my shoulder opening the fucking slider
the pulsing star
limitless hymns composed for her singular brilliance
orbiting existential principles
liquid onyx landscapes and oceanic skies
I lift my watery eyes
my lips smiling with their silly secret
this isn’t the prominent Christmas Star shining brightly 19 degrees above the horizon
it is Venus
she’s the one who lured me to heavenly hopes all those years ago
when I was a child and didn’t know which way was North
can’t remember the last time I was in love with earth
witnessing her miraculous gifts
appreciating silent nature
rather than absorbing pixel and pen minutia
stunning my drowsy eyes was this unexpected moment
it was the moon I needed to touch
his large, low gloriously warm pulse in lusty azure
barely cloaked in the fading veil of night
the taffy-stretched shadow of a red sunset maple
stretched across the dark grass
as if she too, desired infinite perfection
stars tucked away in their opaque shells for another night
this was the moon’s moment
I stood frozen
and not for the frost assaulting the holes of old moccasins
I peeked through my eyelashes to capture his light
to practice this magic in my mind
committing him to memory
and why I have the good fortune to breathe
etching my soul with our rehearsed minutes
before anxious society attempts to rub my magic out
racing on all compass lines
I remain in the exact same spot
knowing the sun will wipe him away
my beautiful moon
wish I could tell you
brilliant gentle fingering rays
enticed me from my lazy bed
the dark truth
my Dachshund needed to urinate
I remember now–
I’m honestly in love with earth
she likes curves as much as the next guy
your supple lips create a secret shadow
she dreams of hiding in
those amazing shoulders of yours
burst into perfect half-moons
she adores the curve of your back
how your lats run down into a sinewy v
on your well-formed biceps
she imagines suns rising and setting
on those glutes
ah, yes those magnificent rounded caps
leading to the sweeping arcs of your sculpted tendons
she visualizes your body thrusting into forward motion
with all those powerful curves
yes, my friends
the ladies like curves too
this fellow sketched last year at a wrestling match
do you ever think about how the world is?
a giant sphere
spinning and spinning
on an invisible stick
a burning explosive star
we’re on this ball
going round and round
like a cheap carnival ride
we’ve no choice about the spinning or the rotating
we can’t even decide if we want take the ride
the only decision we make is
how firmly we will plant our feet on the ground
with the time we have
so we don’t fall off when we’re spinning
and spinning and spinning…
art previously published
I so enjoy creating irksome monsters with glowing eyes and bizarre creatures with gnashing teeth. Where this little girl comes from, I’m not quite sure. I think she dwells beneath the soft underbelly of my heart. You best be careful digging beneath your heart. Squishy stuff settles there and if to much oozes out, you’ll feel empty inside.
Besides changing hair length – like night and day alternating sides – Galeen loves surfacing now and again. Since she thinks she’s kind of cute, Galeen would like to present her ‘living’ scrapbook.
Thank you. May you dream of wishing stars floating in the soft underbelly of your heart.
As you may have noticed, Galeen likes experimenting with how she appears – she may cover herself with paint, pencil, collage or marker! She’s never quite sure what scented soap to use and loves trying them all…
Last week at 5 AM, as the giant husband and I were taking our morning walk, I noticed something quite beautiful. The sleepy, white moon was preparing to let the sun take over. The road surface was slick from the previous night’s rain. Though the street was dark, it appeared illuminated by starlight. Wet leaves of orange, russet and gold were reflecting moon glow. The fallen leaves flickered atop the black asphalt. Their angular shapes shimmered as stars do in the night sky. It seemed for a beautiful, brief moment that the earth had flipped over onto her lovely head.
Thank you. May you dream of stars in heaven and on earth.
Fallen Girl mixed media collage created after witnessing stars on the road.
Please keep West Africa in your thoughts…
I’ve been functioning as a student’s scribe for the last few weeks. During this time, I’ve had the pleasure of sitting in a high school classroom minus the ‘pressure.’ I’m thoroughly enjoying the experience the second time around. Much to my surprise, I’m absorbing Trig and Chemistry, my past personal nightmares. Both course teachers have exceptional delivery styles.
If I’d had the good fortune of learning from either one of these instructors, I might have become a mad scientist or a power broker with a ‘smancy’ car. Who knows? Anyway, yesterday I was me. Me had some free time in school and used it to sketch some ideas for future posts. This first concept was glued in my head from a prior conversation with a fellow blog friend about astrological signs. Guess what I am 🙂
Thank you. May you dream of floating on stars and swinging by your hair.
The giant husband and I walked through 2014 summer nights. Now, with another educational season upon us and its accompanying lunacy, we’ve altered our exercise routine. Our sneaker feet have shifted to 5 AM. It was a little strange at first: the quiet of our home, the blackened windows, and the silence of the street save our morning conversations spoken in hushed tones.
Early AM before too many electric lights interfere, the liquid sky is like indigo wine and the stars vibrate like golden glass. I’m embarrassed to say I’d forgotten the exquisite beauty of the stars. So many stars, so many constellations I don’t know the names of… I promised myself to never forget the sky’s treasures again. They are worth drinking in and wishing upon.
Thank you. May you dream bathed in star glow and powdered with dream dust…