unloving yourself

 

this is for all beautiful young girls–inside and out–they all are born beautiful–they must believe this and not allow life to turn them otherwise–my daughter has grown into a confidant young woman–this was not always the case–and she’s so much more confidant than I ever was at the ripe age of 19🤗

anthropomorphic animals

four legs four legs on the ground
untainted smooth
inertia bound

there it hides
its hiding there
safe from them
there is nowhere
go stop run
run stop go
from flesh, that flesh
that’s white as snow

must cut away her utility…

when it goes
where it stops
gets trampled underfoot
route unnamed
smudged by earth
man’s untimely soot

must appreciate his underbelly…

polluted vagaries
nest, pack, herd,
colony, turmoil
gaggled words
shrewdness,
heard
the silent sound
tribe, cackle, richness
boom band bound

must reexamine my duel motives…

pride and mob, school and pod
pride and school emergent mob
efforting while in sexual season
sucking up to tainted treason

dissonance parleys the uninformed
murdered the goddamn unicorns
call and alarm all shadows here
their fur hides hide our naked fear
no more, no more, I beg no more
uncork the apple from the boar
knocking, crippling, maturing hell
alarm a shadow, crack the bell

oh, Theodor please help me…

up it stands
on his hands
she be down
on the ground
all replete
on 2 feet
no longer
balking
they are walking
no more
walking
they are talking
walking
talking
when it goes
where it stops
no one knows
oh, but I do

polluted hearts
dirty forms
chatting animals
form the norm

it is never too late, darling…

four legs four legs on the ground
only two now make a sound
earth burnt souls melt in the fold
low bones whisper words foretold…

Interred/change
I couldn’t admit how I adored you
my dead heart must now implore you
so simple back then, my oh my
my Theodor’s eyes in absentia cry
skull-homageI generally don’t attempt rhyme but something grabbed hold of me this morning (perhaps a sprite from last night😉), Animal Farm on the brain while reading youngster Rimbaud’s pain (I admit sadly for the first time)…

this is a time of us

this is a time of us
what of us
define who we are
can we do this
we can do this
move forward
from past
into future
wearing the hide of civilization
pumping the heart human
stowed tolerance
like discovering fire
hidden deep
dig down
rise up
can we do this
we can do this
gentle existence
is it not possible
it is possible
wearing the skin of humanity
the hide of civilization
without these trappings
naked bones
unable to survive
none can
none will
this is a time of us

SImon Says Peace

Simon Says Peace

dreamer take all

before the flesh of another day fuses to your bones
in sleep you must remain awake planning your next move
a red glow from your electronic notebook frames the bedroom sill in hell
cool summer skies can’t suffocate thoughts of a burning future
what a forecast it is
unless you trap a white dream rabbit large enough
then whack off its giant foot to dangle around your neck
nothing good is coming your way
that’s how much luck you need
maybe the whole damn bunny strung around your life could do the trick
but there is no way this can work
you love animals better than people
maybe – up with bunny, down with people is part of the problem
stop fretting hell’s nightshade
and toying with giant white rabbits

stick your face beneath the sheet and try again tomorrow
dreamer take all

MeAnn der Ingline

MeAnn der Ingline

bird in a box store

like a bird in a box store
flying above the steel trees
plastic plants in the far back
protected by strange stiff men in long pointed hats
and sickening grins
if you alighted on a nearby polished snowblower
you’d see the gnomes twinkling eyes
maybe a little happiness there
painted in by foreign hands
confused as you are now
there is expanse to fly
bountiful food on the floor
pools of little ponds
temperate climate
infinite grey to ease those once vigilant eyes
but no elegant altitude
no cryptic nimbus
no aqua-blue current 
must the grey below become black
to inspire you beyond
the sliding sheets of smudged glass

born you were to fly
but not in a box store
warblerwas in Lowe’s today and heard the little sparrows on the light fixtures

In the Light of Newness

This new year, I approach in the light of newness
In this newness lives my pledge of faith, spirit and fellowship written in the persistent hand of love
Every day will forever be a new opportunity to move forward

There will be no:
“re”living
“re”doing
“re”hashing
“re”winding
“re”turning
“re”thinking
“re”defining
“re”starting
“re”creating
“re”writing
there will never be another
“re”solution
from where I start
in whatever I do
there will only be newness
giving the best that is possible within me
working not at “re”solutions
but solutions
within the brightness of a new day
arrived at with the clarity of forgiveness, the hope of promise and the fortitude of human spirit
Caroline and Max spiritThe only “re” I plan on allowing is recycling:)
This mural in the big son’s room will be painted over this winter-it is time
Caroline and Max years ago:)
I wish you all a beautiful NEW YEAR
See you all on the other side of 2016!
annmarie:)

about birds

Ah, we female birds
so plain and dull
sitting upon our nests
obliged to keep our eggs warm
and what do you do
fly off with your freshly preened
brilliant red plumage
to seduce another dull female
while we colorless squatters
do not complain
understanding the urge to wander
is in your nature
so we dust-feathered, will teach troops of earnest chicks
and you will be crowned master of ceremony
for a parade of dull females
red-crested woodpeckerI was just light-hearting the prose up a bit – no offense to many a good man.  🙂
Red-crested woodpecker done with watercolor marker and Prisma pencil a few weeks ago

A Lesson from the Devil

My Friends,
I’m experiencing a self-imposed studio sequester (say that 3 times fast) and will be for the foreseeable future. Most of you lovely folks who visit here with me know I’d like to someday utter, “Yes, I’m published.” Well, I’m digging in my hooves and applying the only magic I know – persistent work. Feeding my family be damned (kidding, of course).

As I create the many monsters for my project, I’m learning or rather that is remembering as I proceed: If you rush or overwork your art, have a trusty garbage receptacle nearby. My trashcan is named Wandel.

There is a point where one must change direction but I can be bull-headed. When an idea in my head isn’t translating to paper, I often waste too much time trying to make the unworkable work. And then, when I’ve invested so much effort, what is the next logical step? Of course, trying to make it work. When Wandel starts talking to me, I know it’s over. I feed him a delicious snack of paper and scribble. He’s most thankful and I must begin again. In the end, I always get something better. It’s the letting go of what didn’t work that never gets easy.

I share with you below a failed attempt at a Jersey Devil. I’m too embarrassed to share the previous renderings which were worse. The Jersey Devil is supposed to be a winged half-man and half-horse creature (according to some eyewitness accounts). After several iterations of trying to create an original looking character, I gave up and fell prey to an easier approach. What I got was a red Pegasus with a migraine. I keep this unfinished devil nearby to remind me: Wandel needs to watch his weight and I shouldn’t feed the trashcan so much.

One can learn much from a devil 😉
bad devil pegasusThank you. May you dream of angelic devils who dispense sage advice.

Crossing More Than Fingers

Dear Friends,
Over the last few days, I’ve seen two excellent conscience-bearing movies. Into the Wild, directed by Sean Penn is based on a true story. It’s a convincing cinematic portrayal of a young college-educated man who forgoes the trappings of society and our manmade shackles. His search for a ‘purer’ existence ultimately brings him to Alaska where he must attempt survival. The other film, The Eleventh Hour, directed by Leonardo DiCaprio lays out mankind’s future if global warming isn’t taken seriously. Both films left me thinking about how I live my life. They left me pondering my children’s futures if we can’t reign in our want, and stop treating nature as a thing to be bartered and sold.

Yesterday my post included a silly Christmas tree. For reference I’d snapped a photo of the delicate daughter crossing her arms. While on a sub break today, I was perusing my photos and stopped at my daughter’s image. I drew her sweet face during lunch. I pray the bright future reflected in her caramel eyes, is the bright future she will have on a beautiful healthy planet…
Caroline Hands CrossedThank you. May you dream of pure air and crystal water.
Delicate Daughter sketched today. Little Miss Green Apple below done with Prisma pencils several months ago.

Miss Green Apple

Miss Green Apple

A Girl Named Galeen

Dear Friends,
I so enjoy creating irksome monsters with glowing eyes and bizarre creatures with gnashing teeth. Where this little girl comes from, I’m not quite sure. I think she dwells beneath the soft underbelly of my heart. You best be careful digging beneath your heart. Squishy stuff settles there and if to much oozes out, you’ll feel empty inside.

Besides changing hair length – like night and day alternating sides – Galeen loves surfacing now and again. Since she thinks she’s kind of cute, Galeen would like to present her ‘living’ scrapbook.

Galeen

 

Dunce

Dunce

Hair Hiding

Hair Hiding

 

Star Gazer

Star Gazer

Statically

Statically

Autumn Leaves

Autumn Leaves

Thank you. May you dream of wishing stars floating in the soft underbelly of your heart.

As you may have noticed, Galeen likes experimenting with how she appears – she may cover herself with paint, pencil, collage or marker! She’s never quite sure what scented soap to use and loves trying them all…