A Conversation with Mom (Post Stroke) Through a Closed Nursing Home Window During Covid




Mom — we don’t need phones, you can hear me through the window just fine.
 
She picks up the phone on her rolling table and holds it upside down to her ear.  
Dad is gambling on my shoulder.
   
Mom — Dad is not on your shoulder. Look, I’m not using a phone and you can hear me just fine.

My teeth are falling out. This phone isn’t working.

Mom — your teeth are not falling out.
 She continues talking into an upside down landline.
Mom — please put the phone down. 
The receiver twists in her hand.I release an invisible string, a white balloon floats away.
Mom — stop knocking the phone on the table.
Mom — please look at me here standing outside your window.


She built a family with her bones.
 Another balloon floats away.
Mom — would you put the phone down please. I knuckle the glass. 

Mom — for the love of God please put the fucking phone down.


Butterflies flying overhead, so many more this spring. The year of my daughter’s mermaid birthday party I didn’t stare skyward looking for wings that weren’t there. I smiled in my cleverness at having covered our dining room walls with iridescent paper and hanging foil starfish from the ceiling with aqua crepe paper. The room became a magical ocean.

Mom — please stop hitting the phone on the table. 
A wheelchair is talking to Mom’s ass and if she leans too far forward, her tongue might fall out.
Mom — hang up the phone.
Mom — Mom 

I’ll see you tomorrow.
I hang up my pretend phone.



Sometimes, there is nothing more to add than the conversation.
Here’s to Fridays fringed with warm wine, good and red.

am

Sometimes the cold tries very hard

to bore into the underbelly of our hearts.

When trying to imagine the light
this grey time of year can envelop us
in its blue without shadow

To taste the sun on our bones
we must always be willing to barrel down the glassy peaks —
ice be damned!

(image courtesy of some screensaver thing somewhere)

– this morning I was thinking about the ice dark outside my studio window and these words found their way into my cold dang fingers – this is my winter desktop every year – it changes along with the seasons

I hope you’re all managing well.
am:)

Our Precious Topper

This precious angel was once lovingly battled over by six Roselli children expressly for the honor of placing her atop the Christmas tree each year.

Every Christmas since, our dear little angel, freed from her topper duties, gallops into our hearts — hearts a bit saddened for the loss of one so joyful.

Though these days shadows last a bit longer, our hearts remain ever grateful in the light of Millie’s memory — the precious angel atop our hearts.

Missing you and your beautiful voice this Christmas season.🌟

A peaceful, warm, and safe Christmas to all🌲

angel

Scarecrow

scarecrow




revised this older piece this morning, sort of where my mind is floating right now
can’t remember when I sketched this, I’m thinking it was a few years ago

hope you’re all managing okay — AnnMarie

Miracle Mail

In the mail today, an offer for my dad. Miracle Ear “promises to positively impact your life!” Dad has been deceased for over three years now. That would be some miracle!And I’ve missed him for 1,235 days.❤️

Can’t Remember Why I Painted This

Can’t recall what was going through my head in 2016 when I created this image.
I wish I could remember.
This piece once vaguely reminded me of John Baldessari’s artwork in the 1980’s—placing bright adhesive dots on random faces in photographs.
Since last year, the mask-like shape and those sad brown eyes have taken on a life all their own.

she shared her orbit of joy

Happy Earth Birthday, Daughter

My beautiful mother, Millie with our beautiful bitty newborn, Caroline
Happy Birthday, Daughter!
Happy Earth Day!
Hope you’re all managing okay❤️Stay safe🙏

new prose in Cagibi

I’m beyond thrilled and honored to have my prose piece, Postcard from a DMV Parking Lot in New York, published in Cagibi Express! It is a marvelous journal.

We’ll Always Have the High Chair

honored to have my prose poem We’ll Always Have the High Chair
published in Free Lit Magazine
“Free Lit Magazine is free and published bi-monthly with a mandate to be committed
to the accessibility of literature for readers and the
enrichment of writing for writers.” – Free Lit Magazine

We’ll Always Have the High Chair

 

We laughed. Chuckled while swimming in the YMCA pool. In my kitchen or yours. During our walks. Shopping and smiling. Over coffee.

Dad often asked, “How can you always have so much to talk about? What the hell is so funny all the time?”

Constant conversations. Endless phone calls when we lived only a few miles from one another. And now, I can’t remember much. What did we talk about, mom? What was always so funny all the time?

I’d give anything to hear you laugh again.

I remember when Caroline was five months old. You and I decided to try my first born in her new high chair. She was a tiny baby, and had what we called a minnow-head. We placed her in the chair. She tilted sideways and that bitty head slid to the far corner. There she sat grinning with those sweet bow lips. From that moment, whenever either of us said, Remember the high chair, we’d laugh.

This morning, you keep spitting out your meds. Don’t seem to remember why you need to swallow them. With a despondent voice I ask, Remember the high chair?

Your eyes crinkle as drool dribbles down your chin.